This is a story about a guy named Guybrush Threepwood. It involves voodoo, ghosts, and most importantly, pirates.  Enjoy.  
  
    Guybrush was walking along the road one sunny day, humming a tune and thinking about stuff... Like he always does.  But then, out of the blue, he had a gut feeling to visit the Voodoo lady... So he did.  

    The Voodoo Lady told Guybrush that his life was in danger.  Apparently, LeChuck had secret plans to sic a thousand rabid monkeys on Guybrush.   "That's not very nice," said Guybrush stupidly, but before he could talk any more, he heard the squeaking of a thousand rabid monkeys coming around the mountain.  Guybrush quickly ran from the Voodoo Lady's home and hid behind some trees.  He watched in horror as the monkeys tore the Voodoo Lady's home apart, flinging potions and their own excrement everywhere.  And I mean everywhere.  

    Guybrush was soon on the run from the monkeys, but they were gaining on him fast. He had to do something, or he would die.  Then, suddenly, with extreme luck, he was able to send the monkeys to Siberia in an incredibly complicated series of well thought-out traps.  

    Now for the intermission...  
  
  
  
  
  

    Yeah, well, it seemed like Guybrush was free from the wrath of the monkeys.  He decided to go to Stan's Previously Owned Diseases, but then he had an even better idea.  He'd continue on his quest for his one and only love, Elaine.  

    And so his long and treacherous journey began. I'll leave the details up to your imagination.  
  
  
  
  

    Okay, it seemed that Guybrush's search was nearing an end when a mysterious bearded old man tipped Guybrush off that Elaine was somewhere in Siberia.  Guybrush remembered that the rabid monkeys were in Siberia, sensed a trick, and immediately punched the old man in the face... *whack*  Four times... *whack whack whack*  

    "Oh, please stop," said the old man, but Guybrush just kept on punchin' and punchin' and punchin.'  Finally the old man collapsed and Guybrush walked away with a smirk.  

    Of course, Guybrush is pretty stupid. He went to Siberia anyway.  When he arrived, he was greeted by a thousand rabid monkeys and viciously ripped apart.  The end.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
 
 

    No, wait, I read that wrong.  
  

    He discovered that the monkeys had left in search of him, and were currently on a ship sailing to where they last saw him.  I had you going there for a second, didn't I?  Okay, now for the rest of the story.  
  

    During his stay in Siberia, Guybrush was repeatedly attacked by various assassins from LeChuck.  Soon he was able to track them down and find LeChuck's evil fortress of evilness.  He defeated LeChuck, (yada yada), found Elaine, (blah), and lived happily ever after.  

    You can tell I'm rushing this, but I'm getting sick of all this.  
   
    I'm sure you are too.  

    Hey, this reminds me of the time my old English teach caught me chewing bubble-gum in the bathtub.  I told him, "Mr. Buttnick, I'm not gonna take it anymore!"  Then he pulled out his cane and gave me a whoopin' I'll never forget, and that's when I realized that-- *whack*