Mighty Pirate
Wendy Raimi

Rating: Teen or PG-13
Smut: Hinted at. No graphics.
Violence: No.
Disclaimer: Oracle belongs to Wendy. Guybrush, Elaine, Grog, Melee 
Island, Murray and Wally all belong to Ron Gilbert and LucasArts.


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Guybrush sighed as he sat in his beach chair on the front lawn of the
Melee Island mansion and watched the sun set. Elaine was currently on
Phatt Island, probably in some odd meeting about the Tri-Island pact that
a few other governors wanted to know about. At least, that was all
Guybrush knew. He knew that Elaine was away on business and that he had
the great big mansion all to himself...or he was having it all to himself
for the next five weeks.
Guybrush had begged Elaine to let him come, but in the end Elaine
believed it was safer if Guybrush stayed at home and made sure everything
on Melee Island went smoothly. Either way, Guybrush didn't like it. He
wanted adventure! He wanted excitement! After all, he was a dashing
pirate.
He sighed as he took a sip of his near-grog and watched the last
fading rays of the sun slip beneath the horizon while tiny white balls of
fire began to come out from their large blue black blanket of safety.
"It's not fair," Guybrush began to mumble out. "She takes Wally and
Murray, but she doesn't even take me." True, Elaine had taken Wally. He
was to show everyone the maps he had been making of the surrounding
Islands. She had taken Murray because they both believed that Elaine
could reunite him with his body, which really was a good idea, but no one
wanted to admit it. Murray could do little harm with his real body.
After all, he was just a skeleton.
While a slight breeze blew by, Guybrush stood and began to collect his
things so he could go inside and have a proper dinner before going to
bed.

Elsewhere on Melee Island....

The SCUMM Bar was perhaps where the most evil and wretched pirates
known to sail the Caribbean spent most of their time, when not...roaming
and sailing the Caribbean. Here, they could get all the Grog they want,
and all the food they wanted as well. There wasn't much for
entertainment except a dart board, but that was no matter when you had a
woman on your
lap.
Oracle Potter however did not drink Grog. Nor did she want a woman in
her lap, or a plate of food. She was on a simple mission. She had come
from Phatt Island with a message from Elaine. Now she was to find the
Governor's husband, and she hadn't the foggiest idea of where he could
be.
"Excuse me," the girl said a little too softly to a pirate next to her,
"Could you tell me where a Mr. Guybrush is?" she asked carefully while
adjusting her Greek Chamlys. The pirate looked up to her and eyed her.
Oracle tried not to shudder at the man who looked like he had more beard
than face.
"Guybrush Marley? He be livin' in the mansion at the edge of cliff."
"No, I'm wanting a Guybrush Threepwood. Is he here?"
The pirate thought for a moment and chuckled to himself. "Ah yes! That
boy. You can find him in the same place. They be the same person, but
people know 'im by different names. No matter. Care for some Grog?" the
pirate asked as he held up his own mug which looked like it was quickly
disintegrating. Oracle grimaced and began to back out the doorway.
"No, thank you." she whispered before running out the door.

Guybrush was just about to blow out the candle on the front porch
when he heard a sudden scream come from down the path that led to the
mansion. Ignoring the candle he ran down to the path's edge to find the
Pirhanna poodles attacking a small girl.
"Down!" Guybrush commanded to the poodles and they quickly ran away from
the girl, whimpering at the lost of a possible dinner. The girl still
lay on the ground though, covering her face with her arms. Guybrush
kneeled down to her and held out a hand.
"Are you all right?" he asked, examining her arms to make sure there were
no cuts. The girl let her arms fall and looked up to her savior.
"Yes, I'm fine, just...rather frightened. Is this Mrs. Threepwood's
mansion?" the girl asked, her voice still soft. 'Finally!' thought
Guybrush, 'Someone who realizes that Elaine married me!' Guybrush stood
and bowed to the girl.
"I am Guybrush Threepwood, but Mrs. Threepwood happens to be--"
"Off Island, yes, I know. I have come to bring a message to her
husband...who...well, you must be him, yes?" the girl asked as she stood
and brushed out her clothes.
"Aye, and you are...?"
"Oracle. Oracle Potter. I'm Elaine's ...maid in waiting back on Phatt
Island." Oracle said, introducing herself with a bright smile and an
offered hand. Guybrush shook the hand and then began to escort the lady
inside.

"Is Elaine all right? She isn't in any trouble is she?" Guybrush
asked as the two began to sit down in the library.
"No, your wife is fine, but she wanted to let you know that she would be
away for another few weeks and that I was to come to keep you company and
to...um, make sure you didn't get into harms way." Oracle put politely.
The truth was, Elaine wanted to make sure Guybrush didn't get into any
trouble, or crazy schemes.
"Aw, that's sweet." Guybrush found himself saying aloud. Oracle smiled.
"So Mr. Threepwood, I am at your bidding, but for the moment, if you
wouldn't mind, I am rather tired. Would you mind if I went to bed?"
"No, of course not. Go on ahead. I'm just going to feed the poodles and
get to be myself." Guybrush said as Oracle was all ready heading out the
room.
"Good-night." she said in a voice that sounded rather eerie and made a
shiver run down Guybrush's spine.

It was some time, much deeper and later into the night when Guybrush
awoke to the jumbling of the bed as he was sure someone was climbing into
it. For a moment he thought it was Elaine, but when he turned and found
it was not, his mind once again became confused. The body for one thing
was much smaller than Elaine's, and the hair was different, braided, or
rather, more wavy than Elaine's. As Guybrush blinked and tried to clear
his fogged mind, he felt a pair of soft lips cover his and he definitely
knew it wasn't Elaine.

A single ray of sunlight ran through the window and across Guybrush's
naked body as he moaned and slowly opened his eyes at the bright morning.
It took him a few moments to realize that he was in a bed, another few
moments to realize that his normally pulled back blonde hair was sprawled
across the bed. Still another few moments to realize he was naked and a
surprising few seconds to realize that there was the head of a girl on
his chest which was attached to the body of a girl which also lay naked
on his own body.
"Agh!" was the first thing to escape Guybrush's lips as he tried very
desperately to get away from the girl who he began to recognize as the
sleeping Oracle from last night. Oracle's eyes slowly fluttered open and
she smiled as she found her love from last night.
"Good morning!" she lilted.
"Wha-what happened? Why are you in here?...and where are my clothes?"
Guybrush asked as he grabbed a blanket to wrap around himself before
jumping out of bed and pointing fingers at the girl in bed.
"I just happened to ravage you, your wife sent me here and I...um...think
they got thrown out the window."
"Ravage me? That's not what I meant and...out the window?!"
"Yes. To ravage you then because your wife really didn't send me and yes,
out the window, along with mine I suppose."
CrapCrapCrap. was thought between the two, but not voiced.
"So, um...why did you come if Elaine didn't send you?" Guybrush decided
to ask while trying to walk over to the clothes press and try finding
some new clothes to put on.
"Cause I heard that you had a great voice." Oracle replied as she
sprawled herself out on the bed again, still naked.
"That the only reason?" he asked while pulling out one of his shirts.
"No."
"Then why else?"
"Cause I think you're hot and that Elaine doesn't take advantage of you
often enough." At this, Guybrush dropped the shirt and slowly turned
around. There was Oracle, a girl, lying on his bed, more or less likely
willing to ravage him for the rest of his life, and all he had to do was
agree to it.
"So," he began, trying to sound suave and debonair. "You think I'm good
looking?" he asked as he slowly approached the bed.
"You drive me wild!" Oracle said as she slowly sat up, hoping he'd come
back to her.
"Really?" Guybrush asked as he sat on the bed.
"Totally."

Five weeks later Elaine came home to an empty mansion.

Dear Elaine,

Ran off to Monkey Island for dastardly plot of trying to take over
the world. Don't expect me home anytime soon.

Love,
Guybrush