The Memoirs of Guybrush Threepwood- The Monkey Island Years

Liam Harper

Part 1: Tri-Island Trawl

Ever since the Ultimate Insult blew LeChuck into oblivion and Elaine and I settled down, I forgot all about the demon menace that had haunted and tortured me for years. We lived the high life at sea, swashbuckling across the Caribbean. Then when Elaine had little Timmy we settled down on Booty Island where Elaine resumed her governor title. Seeing as Booty is such a quiet and friendly place, there was minimal work for her to do as governor and more time for her to spend with Timmy and me. With LeChuck gone for good and H.T. Marley back on Mêlée everything was going good. Or so I thought…
As I stood on the dock, watching the ghost ship disappear, Elaine ran to my side.
"You've got to go after him," she said. I looked at her.
"I thought he was dead, gone, forever," I said, still in disbelief. "I killed his ghost form and he comes back as a zombie. Fair enough. He traps me in Big Whoop and releases himself into the world as a demon zombie thingy. Fair enough. I bury him under tonnes of ice on Monkey Island and he escapes, before creating the Ultimate Insult. Fair enough. I face him in the greatest battle of Monkey Kombat ever and the Ultimate Insult backfires and destroys him in his purest form, a voodoo spirit. So how the Heck did he do it this time?!"
"Guybrush, it doesn't matter," Elaine said, soothingly. "You've got to go and stop him, whatever he's doing!"
Elaine was right. I had to find out what LeChuck was up to and why. Where could I get this information? There was only one person who could help me now… the Voodoo Lady. I hadn't seen her since before I was trapped on Monkey Island. I wondered if she would still be on Mêlée Island. There was only one way to find out.

* * * * *

Booty hadn't changed much since I was last there. The Booty Boutiques had closed down and Stan's had obviously closed down too. However, the small dock had now developed into a large harbour where ships could be rented. This was where I was headed. It was a bright, sunny day, as it always was on Booty. This cheered me up slightly and encouraged me. I arrived at the docks and was greeted by a familiar face.
"Well, howdy Guybrush, what can I do for ya, don't tell me, you want to hunt down that malevolent scallywag LeChuck, and you need a sip, right? I'm right. Am I right?" came the gush of words.
"Hi, Stan," I replied. "Yeah, you're right, I need a ship."
"Of course I'm right! I'm always right!" said Stan. "But do you need a ship or do you need a ship?"
"What's the difference, Stan?" I asked impatiently. Stan saw the look on my face and heard the tone of my voice.
"Okay, I think we're just looking for a ship here," he said sheepishly. "How about this middle-of-the-range baby?" His fast-paced sales pitch voice returned. "High in value, low in moral fibre, perfect for someone like yourself, on a journey of extreme danger and high adventure…"
"That will be fine," I said, cutting him off. Stan's face drooped.
"But I didn't get to do my sales pitch!" he protested. "Just take a look at this baby's stats, I mean…"
I handed him a pile of cash and boarded the boat. Minutes later, the Fair Lady was departing from Booty harbour with its one-man crew, followed by the rants and ravings of the bewildered Stan. I set a course for Mêlée Island, at the other side of the Tri-Island Area. Two days later, the Fair Lady docked at the shipyard on Mêlée. It was a cold night with a starry sky, very similar to that dark winter's night I first set foot on this island. I made tracks for the village, passing the SCUMM Bar on the way. Totem poles and exotic flowers could be seen discarded carelessly on the path from the LUA Bar. When news of Ozzie Mandrill's death spread, pirates across the Caribbean rejoiced and ripped the LUA Bar down, replacing it with the good old SCUMM Bar. I entered the small village and rounded the corner. A familiar-looking rat sat alone in the corner by a barrel. I glanced up at the clock on the arch. Ten o'clock, of course.
There was the International House of Mojo in all its glory. Well, almost all its glory. The brightly burning lamps on its front face were extinguished, and as I approached I felt a chill down my spine, even more than usual. As I came closer I saw the door had been boarded up. What's going on? I thought. I knocked on the door. No reply.
"Hello?" I yelled "Are you in there… Voodoo Lady?" I realised, after all the help and support I had received from the Voodoo Lady throughout my adventures in the Caribbean I still didn't know her name. Still no reply.
"You won't find her in there, fancy-pants," croaked a voice from behind. I wheeled round with surprise. There stood a small, crooked figure, leaning on an old white staff. It was the storekeeper from Monkey 1… er, I mean, from my first adventure.
"She packed up long ago," he continued. "Said she was going back to her old home… didn't say which one, though."
"Erm, thanks," I replied. The old man walked off through the archway, chuckling to himself. So the Voodoo Lady returned to her old home, eh? I had to assume that was on Plunder Island, seeing as that was her home before returning to Mêlée. So I returned to the shipyard and boarded the Fair Lady, before setting sail for Plunder Island, again at the other end of the Tri-Island Area. After another few days, I reached Puerto Pollo. While climbing the stone steps from the docks to the town, I stumbled across another old friend, Kenny Foulmouth.
"Insults, insults!" he cried, waving a book in his hand. "Suitable for use with arm-wrestling, darts, sword fighting and naval attacks!"
As I was about to approach him, I remembered my last encounter with him and reconsidered. After several minutes, I found myself at the mangrove swamp, former home of the Voodoo Lady. As I began to cross the small wooden bridge a white shape caught my eye. I glanced up to see a skull impaled on a pole.
"Murray?" I asked cautiously. The skull stared blankly. "Nah!"
I walked on into the swamp and up into the overturned ship. The room inside looked exactly the same as I had left it. With a swift tug of the alligator's tongue… nothing. I pulled the tongue again. Silence. I peered over the edge from which the Voodoo Lady would normally emerge. The darkness below revealed nothing.
So the Voodoo Lady wasn't on Mêlée or Plunder. That left only one other option: Scabb. As I boarded my ship for the third time, I cursed my luck, realising I had to sail all the way back across the Tri-Island Area to where I started. The Fair Lady finally docked at Scabb Island many hours later. On the dark beach of Scabb, the silhouette of the Weenie Hut could be seen. I enter the sparse forest of Scabb and headed for the swamp at the far end of the island. Upon arrival, I was greeted by a large sign stating: "Welcome to the International House of Mojo" and a coffin bobbing in the swamp. I sat in the coffin and paddled into the murky depths of the swamp. The skull-shaped shack ahead gave a stream of light. The Voodoo Lady was here. I entered the shack and found the Voodoo Lady hard at work on a powerful spell. I didn't dare ask what it was or who it was for.
"Ah, Guybrush," she said as I approached. "You found me at last."
"Er… yeah, I guess so," I replied. The Voodoo Lady smiled.
"So, LeChuck just won't leave you alone, eh?" she said, rather than asked. "And you want to know his plans, and how to stop him?"
"Good guess," I said.
"Well, first I'll need some items," started the Voodoo Lady.
"Here we go!" I mumbled.
"I'll need something of little Timmy's, something important to him, since he is heavily involved," she continued. "And one other item. A special item." The Voodoo Lady tone changed from 'mysterious voodoo' to 'deadly serious'. I didn't like it.
"This special item is of much importance, I feel, and can only be found on one island…"
"No!" I cried.
"…Monkey Island!"