A 1700 word story based on the Monkey Island universe. Draft 1.01

By Rick Talbot

Posted on August 21/01

This story is (c) 2001 by Rick Talbot, inasmuch as it can be copyrighted, seeing as the story-universe, characters, and ideas are based on "Monkey Island" which are Copyright and Trademark of Lucas Arts.

(send your comments and criticism to ricktalbot@hotmail.com)

Everybody has a secret in these parts, even the monkeys. Beneath its sun-gilded tropical exterior, the Tri-Island Area suffers from a horrible necrotizing plague of immorality and vice. You may not believe me, and I don’t blame you, being an outsider. When I first came here so many years ago, I too was deluded by the games and the laughter. My innocence faded quickly however, as I discovered a world of insults, sword-fights, and cursed treasures. And now I will tell you how I, Guybrush Threepwood, escaped death and made a home for myself in these unholy waters.

 The music drifted toward me gently, as I approached the entrance to the Scumm Bar. The bar was a converted supply-depot, and the original nets and ropes and barrels still lined the walls of the bar. When I entered, the music hit me full-blast. It was so happy and so gay that I expected to see an old Italian organ-grinder with his dancing monkey. But no such entertainment would be had in these parts. No, not in this bar with its hardened clientele. They were pirates mostly. There were a few ex-pirates to boot, though these were dangerous times, and most pirates didn’t live long enough to retire.

There were tall pirates, short pirates, thin pirates, and portly pirates. There were pirates drinking grog, and there were pirates drinking soda. There were pirates eating roast beef, and there were pirates eating cheesy-sticks.  There were pirates carrying-on riotously, and there were pirates passed out drunk. There were even pirates at the piano.

One pirate in particular caught my eye. She was a beautiful, tall brunette lass, and I was instantly smitten. I went to the nearest pirate, a scraggly old scallywag and asked him who she was.
            “That,” he said as he pointed a knotted old finger at the angel across the room, “is the daughter of the governor.” He looked at me and frowned. He lowered his voice, and said quietly, “stay away from her, or you’ll end up in jail. The governor doesn’t like pirates courting his little precious.” The old pirate smiled slightly, and offered me a seat at his table. I sat down eagerly, and intently kept my eyes on the young woman.

The old man looked at me as I stared at the governor’s daughter. “You’re a young’un, ain’t you?”

“Nineteen, sir,” said I, as I concentrated on the female who had smote me.

“Young enough, eh!” The old sea-dog Chortled, “old enough too! Heheh! But don’t even think about that girl.” He shook his head. “Get signed up with one of the pirate captains, and concentrate on making your fortune, lad!”

“What’s her name?” I asked absently.

The old man sighed. “Elaine Marley,” he said slowly and deliberately. “Those two little words could be the death of you, if you ain’t careful, mind!”

“Oh yes, sir, I’ll mind,” I added dreamily as I sat with my face in my hands, leaning on the table, both my eyes looking out unblinkingly, caressing her with my thoughts.

“You’ll mind, eh boy?” The old pirate laughed. “My name’s Sam Sturgeon, boy. Be best to remember my name. It still carries some respect around here.” He tapped my arm to get my attention, and asked me, “What’s your name son?”

“Guybrush,” I said shyly, “Guybrush Threepwood.”

“Like I said,” repeated the old captain, “you’ll do well to keep my name close to your lips.”

My dark-haired angel left the bar with a few friends, and I found myself to be in the company of Sam Sturgeon and the whole shady lot of low-down types. I nodded to Sam and quietly left the bar. Outside, outlined in the moonlit night, I could see the forms of Elaine Marley and her entourage in the distance. I decided to follow them briefly, for no better reason than my sudden infatuation.

I followed them into the town, past the fountain and watched them move beyond the town arch. As I neared the arch I heard voices coming from an alleyway.

“So we’re doing her tonight? You sure?” said one voice.

“Yeah I’m sure. Now listen, we take care of her when she comes out of the mansion for her nightly stroll, just like we agreed with the Sheriff,” rebutted the other voice.

When I heard this I turned around and walked away as quietly as possible. As far as I could tell I had gone unnoticed - nobody came from the alley to confront me. I was hit with the strongest conviction that the ‘her’ they were talking about ‘doing’ was Elaine Marley. Who else had a mansion on this island?

But why was the Sheriff involved? And when did she take her nightly stroll? I had to find these things out before I could do anything, or breathe a word to anyone.

On my way back to the bar to consult with Sam Sturgeon, I noticed the Voodoo Lady’s shop. The light was still on inside, so I knocked on the door. I heard footsteps come toward the door, and I heard the bolt slide. The door opened and a short, rotund, dark woman presented herself to me.

“What ya be wantin’ boy?” she asked.

“I need your help,” I said quietly, looking about me as I said so.

“An’ you can’t be wai’tin for mor’ning?” she asked me with her relaxed Caribbean cadence.

“Someone is going to be murdered tonight.”

“What ya gwan talkin’ bout now? You bin drin’kin!” said the woman forcefully.

“I haven’t had a drop of grog. I swear! I need your help,” I said, pleading with her.

“Fine, you gwan come pon inside me crib an’ tell me ’bout it,” she said hestitantly.

Inside the Voodoo Lady’s crib (home), were a myriad of religious objects. A painting of Lord Vishnu hung beside a painting of The Sacred Heart. Incense burned in the puja corner, and jars of herbal ingredients lined the shelves. The Voodoo Lady sat in a large cushioned chair and motioned for me to come closer.

“How you going?” she asked.

“Well, I’m okay,” I replied. “But I don’t have the problem.”

“Who does?” she asked.

“Elaine Marley, I think.”

“Really?” she asked.

“I overheard two guys talking about doing her during outside her mansion as she goes on her nightly stroll,” I explained.

“Yes, Elaine does gwan a nightly stroll,” she considered.

“When does she take her stroll?” I asked.

“Around midnight,” the Voodoo Lady said.

She sat in her chair, looking at the floor, and frowning. “There is more that you have not told me,” she said.

“The Sheriff is involved,” I said. “Why?”

“I do not know why,” she answered. “But pray you stay out of his way. He is a dangerous man.”

So, having seen the Voodoo Lady, and having been hurried out of her house so she could go to bed, I went back to the bar. Sam Sturgeon was passed out over a bowl of onion rings and a string of saliva connected his mouth to the table. I looked about me, and I saw only a few pirates still awake. I walked over to the nearest rapscallion. He was a tall, broad-shouldered man with too much hair on his face.

“Want a chance to make some money?” I asked him.

He bent down so that his face met mine, “how much?”

“Depends on how good a job you do,” I growled.

“Look boy, you better be serious,” he started angrily, “or I’ll have at ye.”

“Oh, I’m serious,” I countered, trying to look as mature as possible, “midnight tonight. Meet me at the fountain in town.”

I went on like this, offering a share of the bounty to every man who wasn’t too drunk to walk.

At midnight I stood by the fountain, waiting for my new companions. Three pirates showed up.

“What’s the job,” pirate number one asked.

“We are going to take care of two urchins,” I said.

“Why,” asked pirate number two, “what ‘ave they done?”

“They are going to attack Elaine Marley. We are going to save her.”

“Reward in it?” asked pirate number three.

“As much gold as you can make a house out of,” I said with a smirk.

“Lad, I’m with you,” said pirate number three. “Lead on.”

And so we went near to the mansion, where we could observe everyone coming or going. We soon spotted Elaine Marley making her way from the mansion, and onto the path leading to the leeward side of the island. We followed at a distance, being as quiet as possible. The sound of the wind in the trees kept our footsteps from being heard. After ten minutes or more, we heard a scream which was quickly stifled. The four of us broke into a run, and we soon came upon two men holding the unconscious Governor’s daughter.

Her shirt was torn open. Her breast had been bared to the night air by those criminals. “Unhand her!” I yelled ferociously. I felt a jealous rage grow within me, and a surged forward with my dagger drawn. I swung, and cut the arm of the closer man, who yelped and jumped back. But the other pirate had got behind me, and sent his rapier straight through my right shoulder. I screamed from the pain, at which point my three compatriots rushed to attack.

The battle raged as I sat there on there on the ground, unable to move my arm. I crawled to Elaine, and positioned myself to defend her as best as I could. Fortunately I had no need to defend her, as the fight quickly turned to the favour of my friends. Unfortunately, I passed out, for when I awoke there was nobody about, and it was early morning.

 Once I was back in town I had the barber dress my wound. Luckily no major arteries or veins had been cut by the thin blade. I went over to the town bulletin board, where I saw this small notice: ‘Three pirates rewarded for rescuing Governor’s daughter.’

My companions had abandoned me, and claimed the reward for their own selves. I could do nothing about it. And what was worse, Elaine Marley didn’t even know that I was the hero of her rescue. I went back to the bar for breakfast.

So now you know the story of how I lost my innocence about this place. And now you know how I met the woman who would be the center of my life in the future, in all things foreseeable and unforeseeable.

END.