A Monkey Island Christmas Carol
Mats Berglinn
The author's note
The Christmas times are coming like every year since Year 0 BC/AD. Christmas is as we all know it is a time to gather friends and family in happy time, we give and get presents, singing songs (known as Christmas carols) and everyone feels the joy and the friendship (even the biggest sourpuss is nice). You may think that I'm just babbling obvious things but this makes a lot sense since this story is about the Christmas times. Anyhow, the Christmas have been so loved that it really affects media such as books, movies, theatres, comics and even games. The year 1843 Charles Dickens released the book A Christmas Carol which is about a greedy, egoistic man who turns into a good, pleased man by getting visited of three ghosts of the Christmas representing the Past, the Present and the Future. That story have been a popular story and converted into many versions by many Entertainment companies such as Walt Disney pictures, Jim Henson productions, Hanna-Barbara etc, were they use the original story with their characters as the persons in the story such as the Disney characters, the Muppets, the Flintstones etc. But have you actually noticed that neither Ron Gilbert or anyone of Lucas Arts (or Lucas Film) never have done the same thing with the Monkey Island characters? Perhaps they didn't thought that was a good idea or they never came up with such idea. In any event I have wrote the story of Charles Dickens and put in the characters of Monkey Island. To make it easier to see which characters is which I have mixed up the names of Dickens and MI-characters. Note that not every MI-character are in this story and that not EVERY MI-character is a Dickens character such as Stan. Anyway, have a good time reading this (which I recommend to read this is December to get the right feelings if you see what I mean) and Merry Christmas to everybody.
It was 24:th December in London somewhere in 19:th century. It was happiness and joy everywhere. People were out shopping Christmas-presents, food and other necessary things for Christmas-day, some went to work, some stood at the streets and sang Christmas-songs for the people that pass by. Everyone, even the poorest, unemployed fellows had happiness and joy for the Christmas. Well
Not quite everyone. There was one man ,who was mean, egoistic, cold-hearted, short-fused, skinflint and not to mention grumpy, who didn't like the Christmas at all. His name was Ebenizer Ozzie Scrooge, referred as Ozzie Scrooge or just Mr. Scrooge. He came walking on the streets to his office without bother all the happy people around him since he hate those things. When he stopped to let a horse-carriage past a happy, short man with blonde beard and a Santa-hat came to him.
Ahoy there, matie! Hahaha! Would ye like to give a piece of eight for the poor so they will get a happier Christmas? He said and clanged his bell.
If you think that I'm going to give money for the poor than take this tip: Go and take a long walk off a short pier! Scrooge said begun to walk away.
Okay. Well
Hohoho! And a Merry Christmas to you!
But Scrooge ignored that and kept walking along the street. After a while he came to a building where his office is. On the sign above the door it have the name Scrooge and Marley, with the name Marley crossed over. Scrooge looked at the sign and said to himself.
Ah, my old companion, Jacob T Marley. He was a great man, yes really a great man. He stole from the widows and tricked the poor. He has been dead since seven years ago. He had no family and I was his only friend. In his testament his money was supposed to be used for a tombstone. But I took the money and buried him by sink his corpse into Davey Jones' Locker.
Scrooge went inside and walked through the worker's room where his bookkeepers kept on writing the funds and rates for their clients. No one said anything, they just kept writing. Scrooge came to his secretary's office outside his. The secretary, named Brittany, filled in yesterday's paper-work.
Good Morning, Mr. Scrooge, she said.
Any messages for me? Scrooge asked while he stomped off the snow from his boots.
Just one, Mr. Scrooge. Mr. Cheese would like to know if he could use some coal for the open fire.
Tell Mr. Cheese then that the answer is NO. And also tell him that if he asks about it again this month, I'll kick him out of here!
Yes, Mr. Scrooge. I'll tell him that, the secretary giggled. Scrooge said annoyingly,
Stop that giggle!
Oh, sorry sir.
Get back to work. Remember
"Time is money." "Talk is cheap." I know, sir.
Scrooge went into his office and started writing in his workbooks about rates. Scrooge was really a greedy man so that's why he pays out low salaries to his employees and he only allowed one piece of coal a mounth in the winter-times for the open fire. Even if don't have to mention it, he wants get even more and more rich and never give away any Piece of Eight away. The secretary knocked at his door which was always open so he could see if his bookkeepers worked.
Yes?
Mr. Scrooge, Mr. Cratchit would like to have a word with you.
Send him in! Scrooge ordered and started counting his money.
One of the bookkeepers, Guybrush Cratchit came into the room.
What do you want? Scrooge asked irritated.
Guybrush scratched his back and said to Ozzie Scrooge.
You know Mr. Scrooge, tomorrow is Christmas-day and I wondered if I could have my afternoon off.
When Scrooge heard what Guybrush Cratchit said he dropped a coin on one of the piles so the whole big pile of Pieces of Eight that Scrooge counted dropped into the floor.
Why did you have to say that just as was finished counting my money? Now I have to begin from the start!
Scrooge got so angry that he grabbed his cane and snapped it.
Oh, look what you made me do!
I'm sorry, Mr. Scrooge. I will fix that cane to the afternoon, Guybrush apologized.
Okay, right. Having the afternoon off on Christmas day? Hmmm! Maybe so
but I have either to take off 50 % off your daily salary or you have to come here earlier the next day.
Does it mean I can
? Cratchit begun but he were interrupted by Scrooge.
Yeah, yeah! Now, get back to work!
Guybrush was about to leave when Brittany came in.
Sir?
What now? Scrooge said annoyed while he picked up his coins that lied on the floor.
Your nephew would like to meet you, sir.
SEND HIM IN!! Scrooge shouted annoyed because he didn't like that his nephew would appear in the middle of a working day (Scrooge never liked that anyway).
Scrooge's nephew, Fred Lemonhead, came in the room with a Christmas-wreath in his hand.
Merry Christmas, Uncle Scrooge!
Bah! Christmas is nothing more than a bad excuse for being lazy!
Aw, come on, Uncle Scrooge! It's not THAT bad. Don't agree that is a good time to gather your friends and
Fred started but Scrooge interrupted him.
What's so good with it? I'll tell you what "Christmas" really is. It's just a normal working-day and if someone thinks about something else
he could take a long walk off a short pier!!
Scrooge continued pick up his coins and started to count them again.
But, sir. Christmas is the time of giving, a time which someone share with family and friends, Guybrush tried to explained but Scrooge wouldn't listen.
I say "Bah, bogus"!
And I'm saying Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas!
Guybrush couldn't stop applause but stopped right away when he noticed that Scrooge watched him with a angry look.
I just warmed up my hands, sir.
Get back to work or I'll change my mind about "the afternoon off for tomorrow"!
Okay!
Guybrush Cratchit hurried back to his working-bench but slipped by the water which were the snow Scrooge stomped off his feet. Scrooge asked his nephew.
And what does my nephew doing here?
Fred put the Christmas-wreath on Scrooge's table and said.
I come here to give you this Christmas-wreath as a sign that I estimate you. Also my wife and I would like to invite you on Christmas-dinner. We are going to have roasted goose stuffed with chestnuts, plum-pudding with lemon-sauce (not from my lemon-mask of course) and Victorian Sponge-cake with candied fruit. How about it?
Are insane, boy?! You know that I can't eat those things! And another thing, why don't you work?! Scrooge said angry and waved his arms so much that he pushed off the pile of coins so they dropped on the floor. Scrooge noticed that and sighed.
Come on, Uncle Scrooge. Don't be such a lone wolf. It's going to be fun. We having some friends over, eating, singing, dancing and play games. And you could meet my wife.
So what? I have too much things to do. Why did you actually married her anyway?
But isn't it obvious, Uncle Scrooge? I fell in love with her, he said with a happy voice but Scrooge looked at the clock and saw how much time he "wasted" on talking.
You have spoiled too much of my time, Fred. I have business to do, so get out of here.
Are you sure that
?
BUZZ OFF!
Fred turned around and walked out but slipped on the water on the floor too. But he didn't mind about that, instead he kept walking out and greeted his uncle.
Have a Merry Christmas, Uncle Scrooge!
Christmas? Humbug! Scrooge muttered while counting his money, ONCE AGAIN.
Brittany looked inside the door again.
Mr. Scrooge? There are three gentlemen that wants have a word with you, Sir.
Hmmm
It might be customers this time. Send them in!
Brittany left and three men came into the office. They wore quite-fine clothes and the short, chubby, quiet guy held a little metal-box in his hands.
And what can I help you with, gentlemen? Scrooge asked and moved the money-piles carefully away so they won't fall into the floor again.
Are you Mr. Scrooge? The black-bearded guy asked him.
Of course I'm Ebenizer Ozzie Scrooge! My companion, Jacob Torqameda Marley, has been dead for years. Now what did you want me, gentlemen?
We, Mister, are here for asking for a favor to the ones who are in need, the tallest man said and brushed off the snow from his hat.
For what? Scrooge asked confused.
We are collecting for the poor, the black-bearded man said.
Scrooge scratched his head and thought before he answered.
Oh, so that's why you are here. That's what your job is. Begging for funds to help the poor, huh?
The short, fat guy nodded and started to chuckle but the tall guy smocked him at the head to make him shut up. He answered Scrooge.
Yes, Mr. Scrooge. That's what we do.
You know what, gentlemen? Scrooge asked them and the men looked at each other. Scrooge continued to talk.
Have you ever thought of what would actually happen if you helped out the poor?
No, two of the men said and the shortest one shook his head.
They will not be poor anymore if you help them out.
Oh yes, we knew THAT one, the tallest guy said.
Scrooge picked up the Christmas-wreath Fred gave him and led the Fund-collectors to the door that led outside.
However, if the poor aren't poor anymore you three don't have to collect more money, Scrooge said anxiously and put a hand on the shortest man's shoulder.
Yes but I supposed that
, the black-bearded man said but got interrupted by Scrooge.
And if you don't have to collect any more funds, you wouldn't have any work left.
The men looked at each other again. Then they looked at Scrooge again and the tallest man said.
We never have thought about that.
As you see I don't have a heart to make you unemployed, especially not on Christmas Eve, Scrooge said with tragedy in his voice. They have come to the door that led outside and Scrooge opened the door.
Of course you can't. We would never do such thing, Mr. Scrooge, the black-bearded man said.
Well then. Would you still want me to get any money or still want your job left?
Is that a trick question? The tallest man asked but Scrooge didn't answer, instead he put the Christmas-wreath on the shortest man's head.
Well, it's best that we keep our job, the black-bearded man said to his pals.
Well then. Let them be poor another day. Now get out of here!
Disappointed the men walked out and Scrooge closed the door. Scrooge walked back to his office and on the way he talked to Guybrush Cratchit who wrote in his work-books.
Oh, when will this phooey ends? A man working through his whole life to get money and then people wants to give them away.
Scrooge walked to the office and closed the door. In the late afternoon the book-keepers began to get tiered and shivered 'cause of the cold. Scrooge open his door, walked to the book-keepers and said to them.
Okay, the office is closet. You may go home now.
The book-keepers finished their lines in the books, closet them and begun to walk home. Guybrush Cratchit walked together with his workmate Mr. Cheese.
How is your family, Mr. Cheese?
They all just fine, especially the kids. I have spared the Bonus Scrooge gave me for taking care of his laundry to buy presents to them, Mr. Cheese said.
That's nice, Guybrush Cratchit commented.
Ahem! Scrooge said. Guybrush ran to him and gave him his cane that he have glued.
Oh, sorry Mr. Scrooge. Here's your cane, whole again.
Scrooge looked at his cane to checked if it's fine. But he didn't notice that Guybrush have just glued the cane together since he didn't see the crack.
You made a fine work, Cratchit. Here, take this bonus of 40 Pieces of eight for fixing my cane. I have decided about that you can have your day off tomorrow, just remember to come here earlier the next day! Scrooge said.
Thank you Mr. Scrooge. You're so nice.
Bah, stop with that nonsense. Just go!
Of course I will and a Merry Christmas to you, sir!
Guybrush Cratchit put his thin jacket and hat on him and walked home. About an hour later Scrooge went on his way home. He stopped at the square when he saw a tent. In front of the tent there was a sign saying "The Voodoo-lady's fortune-teller. Want to know about how your business is going? Come here to get your fortune. Christmas-eve special sale: Just for 5 cents."
Hmmm
It would be good if I knew if my business is going good in the future, besides one nickel is not big loss, Scrooge said and walked into the tent. Inside the tent there sat a black lady in a white dress and a big red hat.
I sense that you would like to know about the future. That will be a nickel, please.
I want proof that you can do magic-tricks first, Scrooge said skeptic to the Voodoo-lady.
I can analyze your person. Hmmm
Your name is Ebenizer Ozzie Scrooge. You are a business-man of the Scrooge and Marley Company. Your companion has been dead for seven years. And also, you are indeed a greedy man, the Voodoo-lady told him while closing her eyes and held her hand before her face.
How did you know that? Scrooge asked.
I can read your mind. Do you want to hear about your fortune or not? The Voodoo-lady said annoyed.
Okay, here's a nickel!
Thank you. Now, let me see your palm.
Scrooge held his hand with the palm faced up and the Voodoo-lady looked at it.
Mmm-hmm. Ah-ha. Yes. Mmm
Okay. All right then. I see that the business of the company will be very lucrative.
How much money will have? Scrooge asked.
About 5 billons Hence Pieces of Eight per month. Wait! What do I see here? Hmmm
I see that you will be haunted
by a ghost of someone you have known a long time. Now I can't see anything more. Thank you and welcome back.
Scrooge went outside talking to himself.
Haunted by a ghost? Ah phooey!
He went on his way home, through the dark snowy night. When he came to his dark, ghastly, gloomy house, just as Scrooge unlocked the door he noticed that door-knocker didn't look like the lion that it supposed to but it looked like his dead companion Jacob T Marley. Scrooge said.
What in the name of Adam Smith's invisible hand is this? It can't be true but it is. Jacob T Marley? How can it be?
Suddenly the face of Jacob T Marley open it's mouth and it moaned.
Scrooooooge!
Scrooge jumped frightened, ran into his house and slam the door. Scrooge stayed inside the door, shaken worse than an earthquake. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Scrooge got a little bit nervous and was not sure if it was Marley who knocked or someone else. Scrooge opened the door carefully but in front of the door wasn't Marley but a salesman named Stan.
Oh, what do you want? Scrooge said annoyed.
Howdy there! I'm Stan of Stan's Previously Used Christmas Things. I sell everything that has to do with the Christmas. Ginger-bread, Figgy-pudding, Wreathes, Trees, Decorations, Sleds, Santa-suits, Rubber-chickens with pulleys in the middle
Oops! Wrong script! I meant Turkeys (without any pulleys in the middle), mistletoes
But before Stan could say anything more Scrooge slammed the door and locked it. He went upstairs to his bedroom shaking his head.
Sigh, salesmen!
When he came to his bedroom he sat into his sofa close to an open fire and ate some Kudu-jerky pretzels while reading a book. Suddenly he heard rattles from chains and looked everywhere but didn't see anything.
Huh? What? What was that? Nah, just imagination.
He returned back to the book and his pretzels. Then it happened again. The noise. Scrooge looked around again.
What the! Again! Who are you? Come here so I can see you! Scrooge said nervously and confused.
Suddenly a familiar voice said.
Eeeeeeebeeenizer Ozzieeeee Scrooooooge!
Scrooge looked around, while his heart was pounding faster and faster. Scrooge went to the door to see who or what it was but then a skull suddenly jumped up in from of him.
Mwuhahaha!
Gaaaaahhh! Scrooge screamed and backed off. He looked scared at the skull that actually moved. Then someone pointed at Scrooge's shoulder. Scrooge stopped his head and slowly turned around. He saw the spirit of Jacob Torqameda Marley, his long dead companion. He wore heavy chains around him that were attached to Piggy-banks, Small chests, mini-safes etc.
Hey there, Ozzie Scrooge, Marley said and Scrooge jumped scared up. He ran scared away and hid behind the sofa. He looked carefully up from the sofa and looked at the moving skull and the spirit of Jacob Marley.
Can you actually believe that, Jacob? Just because we are dead he's getting more scared than the amount of money he has in his wallet, the skull who was Murray, Scrooge's ex-secretary, said annoyed to Jacob Marley.
Maybe it's because he haven't seen so many spirits or talking skulls. Hehehe! Jacob laughed.
Scrooge lighted a candle to see if he saw right in the darkness.
Jacob Torqameda Marley? Murray? Is that you?!?
You betcha! We really are Jacob Marley and Murray, Marley said.
If you both are dead then how come that Murray is talking skull while you are a ghost, Marley? Scrooge asked and looked at Murray.
Do you remembered how I died? Murray asked Scrooge.
Yes, I still remember that. Before you went home you helped out that Rap Scallion with his Christmas-barbeque and then by accident you tripped and fell into some flames with a can of gas that made flames kill you, Scrooge told him.
Well, since my body have been flamed up and had the bones left I became a spirit in a skeleton-form. I think it was the Voodoo-root in my pocket that made that happen, Murray explained.
But you are just a skull, Scrooge said.
I know, Ozzie! I know! On the way here I slipped on some ice so the rest of my bones are split from my head. I didn't have any time to collect the rest of me so I'm just a skull
for now. I better remember to collect myself after this meeting.
Anyway, what are you here for? Scrooge asked.
We are here because we like to warn you about something, Marley explained.
Something really horrible and EVIL! Mwuhahaha! Laughed Murray and bounced up and down on the floor.
Ebenizer, do you remember that I went around the town to trick the poor and steal from the widows? Marley asked Scrooge with a serious voice.
Yes you did. You were good then, Scrooge said.
I was good yes. But in the last moment before I died I realized that there was something that I should have done that I never did. To help the poor and forgive them for what I have done. And because I didn't do that I have to haul around these blasted chains IN ALL ETERNITY!!! Jacob Marley shouted with a sorrow in his voice.
Talk about horrible, Scrooge commented.
There are no hopes for me. I'm doomed! Doomed I tell you! And the same thing will happen you
EBENIZER OZZIE SCROOGE! Marley said both seriously and angered.
No! Not that! Please! Tell me that you are lying! Please, Jacob! Scrooge begged desperate.
It is true, I'm sorry, ex-companion.
Oh yeah, it is true. But don't worry. When we all three have become the undead, we can walk around the people and give them pain and misery! Mwuhahaha!!
Murray! Marley said annoyed.
Okay then. But there's still hope, Scrooge.
They are? Scrooge asked calmed.
Yes, tonight you will be visited by three ghosts. Remember the three golden rules for them. 1: Listen to them, Marley said.
2: Do what they tell you, Murray continued.
And finally never ever leave them unless they do or they tell you to do so, Marley said.
Will these ghost help me? Scrooge asked.
Maybe, maybe not. Even though I'm a talking skull I can't foresee anything, Murray said.
We have to go now. I don't want to miss to help Santa Claus deliver the presents. But I have more warning. If you don't get better you will end up just like me! Farwell Ebenizer! Marley said.
Bye-bye, Ozzie! See you at the other side sometime. Then we come up with something EVIL. Mwuhahaha!
A mist appeared in the room and when it was gone so was also Jacob Marley and Murray.
Later that night when Scrooge were going to bed he checked around his house if the ghosts that Marley and Murray were talked about would have come but he couldn't find any.
They are no ghosts here. I bet that Marley only came to say that for scaring me because I didn't do any fair funeral. Oh well, I just go to bed now, Scrooge said.
He laid down in his bed, blew out the candle and fell asleep. Some minutes past without anything unusual happened. But then something moved in the darkness and came close to Scrooge's bed. The shadow snapped with it's fingers and the open fire and all the candles lighted up. In the bright light you couldsee that it was a little gray-furred monkey wearing a bronze pirate-hat. Scrooge reacted of the light and woke up
Huh? What the? How could it be so light? He said newly awaked and look up. Then he saw the monkey and looked surprised at it.
Good for you that you woke up, Ebenizer Ozzie Scrooge. We don't have all night, the monkey said.
Who are you? Asked Scrooge.
I'm Jojo Jr., the Ghost of the Christmas Past, the monkey said and pointed at his pirate-hat. It had text that said "Jojo Jr. the Ghost of the Christmas Past".
That's weird. I thought that you were bigger, Scrooge said and looked at Jojo.
Do you judge of me by the size, Scrooge? Then don't do it. Little the size matter does, Jojo said and walked to Scrooge.
Would you please stop mimicking Yoda? It's kind of annoying, Scrooge complained.
Anyway, size doesn't really matter, it's being nice and respective that makes you a good human-being.
So what? Being "nice" doesn't really help me out, Scrooge said.
That's funny. You didn't think like that before. Come a long, Scrooge! We have to go, Jojo Jr. said and came close to Scrooge.
Going where?
Take my hand and we'll get to the past. Your past.
Scrooge were a little bit skeptic and nervous but he took Jojo's hand and then they both disappeared in a great flash. Then they appeared outside a building that was looking familiar somehow. Scrooge said surprised.
Hmmm
This place
I have seen it before.
No wonder it looks familiar. It IS your school, Jojo Jr. said and brushed off the show from his tail.
Scrooge and Jojo walked up closer to the windows. They saw a boy by the age of ten that was all alone studying his books.
Wait a minute! That boy
It's
Me as younger, Scrooge said surprised as he recognized the boy he saw.
Yes. You may forgotten that this Christmas eve your farther was supposed to get you home but he didn't came for hours so you decided to study to past the time, Jojo Jr. said.
Inside the classroom the door open and the Teacher who was a quite short man with black hair, white shirt and green pants came into the room.
Hey! That's Mr. LaGrande, my teacher! Scrooge said surprised.
The Teacher walked to Young Scrooge and saw that he studied.
Ah, that's great. Just keep on studying and you surely become something good. I'm so proud of you, Ebenizer Ozzie Scrooge, the Teacher said and patted Young Scrooge at the head.
I'm not going to let you down, sir! Young Scrooge said to Mr. LaGrande.
Well, that's the spirit, young sir. Hahaha! Mr. LaGrande laughed proudly as he started to pack down his teacher-books.
Scrooge turned his head to Jojo Jr.
Ghost
I mean Jojo
Now I remember this.
It's good to remember light moments. Do you remember what happened later?
Um
Let's see now. Hmmm
just images but no clear memories, Scrooge said to Jojo as he tried to remember his past.
Well then. Take my hand and will be going to another part of the past, Jojo said and hold up his little warm monkey hand.
This is creepy but what the heck!
Scrooge took Jojo's hand and they got outside a building in the middle of the town. Scrooge looked around and he recognized the place right away.
I remember this building. It's the Fezziwig Company, the place were I got my first job. Griswold Fezziwig was really a nice man that I worked for.
Scrooge and Jojo looked through the window and saw some men in there. One of the men was Scrooge himself but as a young man.
It's me, but this time as a young man, Scrooge said and looked around.
All the men worked wrote in their tax-books until a sturdy middle-aged man in a dark-green coat came into the room.
Hey! That's Griswold Fezziwig himself, Scrooge commented.
Griswold Fezziwig talked to the workers.
Okay, gentlemen! The working-time is over. Now everybody let us prepare for the Christmas party.
Everyone started to put away the books and cleaned up the place for the company Christmas-party.
Looking at people who cleans up is quite boring, isn't it Jojo? Scrooge asked and Jojo answered.
Yeah, isn't. How about playing some solitaire while wait? I got a deck of cards.
Sure.
Scrooge and Jojo sat down and played solitaire while they waiting. A half an hour later music started to play. Scrooge and Jojo looked through the window. The company's Christmas-party have begun. A lot of people danced and have fun while Griswold Fezziwig played the fiddle. As they looked in the room they saw a young man sitting alone at the corner.
Hey! That young shy man at the corner... it's me again, Scrooge said.
Yes, that WAS you before you only thought about money, Jojo commented.
Look at that young woman, Jojo! It's Isabelle Capsize, my girlfriend, Scrooge said and pointed at the window.
As they watched they saw a young woman, wearing a beautyful mint-green dress and hat, came.
Ebenizer? She said asked.
Yes, Isabelle? The Young man Scrooge answered nervously.
Come on, dear. Let's dance!
D-do y-y-you want to dance with m-m-me? Scrooge said.
Yes! Come on, darling!
S-s-sure. Why not, Isabelle dear.
Young Scrooge and Isabelle danced lovely together and after the dance was over Isabelle kissed Young Scrooge under the mistletoe. Scrooge looked romantic at his younger me as he remembered his moment of life.
Ah! I love this memory. I remember how much I loved her.
But... Jojo started to say and took Scrooge's hand. They disappeared in a flash and they appeared in a park still in December. Scrooge and Isabelle were still young and they sat at a park-bench. Jojo conteniued.
... After all the years of business you started to think more and more about the money, which distrubed Isabelle. After a year she couldn't stand it and she have the thoughts to find someone else.
Ebenizer? Isabelle asked Young Scrooge.
What is it dear?
We can't go on like this, Ozzie. I have noticed that money is really importaint to you.
Yes but I do care about you very much, Isabelle. I can't live without you.
Of course you can. You don't care about me but your beloved pieces of Eight. You care about money more than me.
No Isabelle, please! It's not that way. Of course I care about the money but...
But nothing Ozzie! You have been always in the office counting the money over and over and over again since you got the promotion. I can't take this anymore! We are through, Ebenizer!
Isabelle rose up from the bench and begun walking away. Young Scrooge tried to stop her but it was hopeless.
No, wait! Please! Isabelle! Please don't! I love you! I love you more than my money! Please, don't do this to me!
But Isabelle left the park and met another man that she fell in love instantly. Young Scrooge looked depressed into the ground and saw Isabelle and the other man walked away happy together. Scrooge himself couldn't stand out the sad memory and said with tears in his eyes to Jojo.
Jojo, I can't stand it with this horrible memory.
Maybe so but you DID loved your gold more than that pretty woman and she will be lost forever, Jojo said and nodded.
I can't stand it anymore! I want to go home! Please Jojo! Scrooge said while crying.
Jojo stood in front of Scrooge, brush off the snow from his broonze hat and said to him.
Okay but remember Scrooge: It's YOU who carries around that guilt. Right now I have to go now. I promised a friend of mine to help out with cooking the Swedish Christmas ham for tomorrow. Maybe... perhaps... we will meet again.
Jojo Jr., the Ghost of Christmas Past snapped his fingers and a thick fog appear that covered both. Both Jojo and Ozzie Scrooge disappeared while in the mist.
Ebenizer Ozzie Scrooge were back in his cold bed in his empty gloomy house. After the meeting with Jojo he blamed himself because he realized what he have done.
How could I be so stupid? How could I do this? Why were I so selfish? Why?
Scrooge looked around and saw that he was in his room again.
Oh. It was so terrible. Thank god I'm home again. A broken heart because of greed is fate worse than death! Or is there...?
Suddenly a strong bright light came into the room and Scrooge stepped out of his bed. He just stood there and stared surprised.
What in name of diddergidoo is this? He said.
What he saw was more than 10feet high piles of gold, silver, pearls, ming-vases, diamonds, jewels, fruits, cakes, all kinds of meat, desserts, bottles of fine wines and even Brie. Scrooge couldn't believe his eyes and he walked around to look.
But where could these piles of lucre and delicatesses come from?
From the heart!!! A big voice echoed in the room and Scrooge turned around to see it was a red-bearded giant wearing a big coat, a kilt and a basker on his head.
Yikes! Don't sneak up on me like that!
I'm sorry Scrooge. It wasn't ment that I scared you, the giant said and drank some grog from a "big" mug.
Say, aren't you the Ghost of the Christmas Present? Scrooge asked.
Aye! I'm Haggis McMutton, the Ghost of Christmas Present. You have surley met Jojo Junior my friend.
Yes I did but that meeting ended up with great depressing so I don't want to talk about it, Ozzie said to Haggis and walked to him.
I do understand, it's not a wee problem. What we are going to talk about that is less depressing and more recent.
Scrooge looked around and then said to Haggis.
You said something that all these heaps of gold, silver and food came from the heart. What did you mean with that?
Aye, it really comes from the heart. It's laid by generously which you have denied from your fellow-beings, Haggis said and brought his face closer to Scrooge.
Generously? No one have ever showed me any generously!
That's because that ye never give those people even a wee chance, Haggis said and ate a fig. He continued.
Even though that there are some people who have some warmth in their hearts even for the likes of you.
If it were so there should be someone who actually cares for me. I haven't noticed that someone care for me at all, that's for sure!
Scrooge started to doubt about the ghost but Haggis grabbed him and put him in his pocket.
We'll see about that!
Haggis snapped his fingers and they both disappeared from Scrooge's house. They found themselves outside on the street. Haggis put his hand in his pocket to pick up Scrooge carefully and put him on the ground.
Come with me I'll show you to some people that does care about you, Haggis said and begun to walk.
Scrooge ran after him to not get too far behind him.
Hey, wait for me!
After some minutes of walking they came to a house. Scrooge looked inside the house. He saw that Fred Lemonhead, his wife and some of their friends had dinner together.
Wait a minute! This is my nephew Fred's place!
Aye it is. Did you remember that he invited you for dinner?
Yes I do. He also gave me a Christmas-wreath which I gave away to those fund-collectors.
It was too bad that you didn't agree for the invitation. Just look inside.
Haggis stood on his knees and looked inside together with Scrooge. Inside Fred, his wife Carla and his friends Otis and Meathook sat inside and have a wonderful dinner. Fred told his friends about he tried to invite Scrooge which he didn't accept.
Well I tried to invite my grumpy lone-wolf for a uncle but he said things like "Bah! Christmas is nothing more than a bad excuse for being lazy!" or "I'll tell you what "Christmas" really is. It's just a normal working-day and if someone thinks about something else
he could take a long walk off a short pier!". Can you actually believe it?
I have a hard time believe that. But Ozzie Scrooge is such a cheap-sake then I can understand why he doesn't want to be invited, Otis commented.
Actually I feel sorry for that old man. I mean he's at home all alone with no friends and all. I can't believe that he can be so such a lone-wolf, Carla said with some sorrow in her voice. Fred agreed.
Me too, dearest. But let's not sorrow too much. Dearest, would you like to get the grog, please?
Sure, darling.
While Carla went to get the grog Fred and his friend continued their conversation.
There's just one thing that actually bugs me and that is how come that Scrooge hates the Christmas so much? I mean even the most grumpiest, meanest bloke is happy and nice on Christmas, said Otis.
Maybe it's some kind trauma or something in the past that made that happen, Fred said.
If you ask me then it must be that very few does make business with him on the Christmas. I mean all he actually cares of is Pieces and Hence pieces of Eight. Hehehe! Meathook laughed.
Carla came in with a pitcher with grog and some mugs on a plate.
Here I come with some grog, she say happily and giggled while putting away the plate with the pitcher and mugs on the table.
We could have some riddles while we drink the grog. Shall we? Asked Fred.
The others nodded agreeing and Otis said.
I begin! "What does have gray hair, is old and hates Christmas"?
A goat? Guessed Fred.
The Anti-Santa? Guessed Meathook.
I know! It's Ebenizer Ozzie Scrooge! Carla said and Otis said.
Correct!
Fred, his wife and his friends laughed so much that they almost fell out of their chairs. Scrooge had a little of guilty in his look as he heard what they talked about.
They're making fun of me, he said with a sorrow in his voice.
Aye but as you see they do care about you, Haggis said.
Yes but is there anyone who does care about me without making fun of me?
Of course there are! Come with me!
Haggis put Scrooge in his pocket and he begun to walk again. About a minute later he stopped at a house which was in some of the poorest parts of the town. Haggis took Scrooge out his pocket and put him on the ground.
Here we are, said Haggis.
Scrooge saw the house and said.
What is this kind of a house? It looks like it's about to collapse.
Here lives your hard-working, underpaid book-keeper, Guybrush Cratchit, Haggis said and they both looked through the window.
They saw the Cratchit family (Here it was just Elaine Cratchit, Guybrush's wife, Peter Kenny Cratchit, the oldest son and Mary Cratchit, the daughter) decorated their Christmas-tree which was only a small tree and the decoration was only tinsel, made from a thin rope and some month-old popcorn, and a star made of colored paper. After that the family were finished they looked at the tree.
Isn't it beautiful, mom? Said Mary.
Yes, it is. Even the smallest dirtiest things can be turned into something wonderful, Elaine said and held a hand on Mary's shoulder.
Sure is it great. It's just too bad that we couldn't afford a bigger tree and some other decorations. But it could been worse, Peter said.
If we just could get enough money we surely can afford a better situation, but don't worry. It'll be better, you will see, Elaine said and hugged her son and her daughter.
The door outside opened and Guybrush came in shouting.
Honey, I'm home!
Guybrush walked to his wife and kids and hugged them.
You came earlier than usual. Had Ozzie an important meeting? Elaine asked his husband.
No, he just let us go earlier. Look what I have with me!
Guybrush showed a chicken that he bought from Blondebeard's Chicken Shoppe.
I bought this with the bonus I got from Scrooge, he said and put away the chicken on the table.
How did you get a bonus when he is a cheap-sake? Elaine asked confused.
I fixed his cane which he broke by mistake. If he ever knew that his cane is only glued. It was glued so well that it's impossible to see the crack, Guybrush answered and hugged his children.
Scrooge and Haggis heard what the family talked about and Scrooge felt a little bit guilty.
I never thought that the Cratchit family would be so poor. Somehow I feel guilty.
Aye! It's not easy to a rich guy when you know the truth, Haggis said.
They looked through the window and saw Elaine Cratchit prepared the chicken Guybrush bought. After awhile when the food was almost finished a little red-haired boy of the age of seven came in walking with a little crutch and had a monocle on his right eye. It was Guybrush's youngest son Tim, he walked with a crutch because he had some kind of sickness. Guybrush came to his son and lifted him up with joy.
Hi dad!
Hey Tim! How is it with you, my son?
I'm alright. Just some dust on the monocle but nothing too bad.
Good to hear that. Dinner is almost ready.
When Scrooge saw this boy he just watched him with a anxious look.
Uh, Haggis? Scrooge asked Haggis.
Aye?
What's wrong with that happy boy?
It's much that it's wrong with him, answered Haggis and nodded.
Elaine Cratchit came in with the food. It wasn't so much, except for the chicken there was only five small potatoes and some small peas. The family sat down to eat and Tim said.
Oh look at those tasty things that we are going to eat. We have to thank Mr. Scrooge.
Scrooge who heard this looked surprised, then turned around to Haggis and said to him.
He
wanted to thank me. Except for Guybrush no one else wanted to thank me.
Aye. Tim is a child with a heart made of pure gold. He's very thankful ye see.
They looked inside again. Guybrush held his wooden-mug of home-made grog and said.
Well, Tim is right. We should thank Mr. Scrooge. I will bring out a toast for him.
Even if he is cold-hearted, greedy and lone-wolf I'll bring out a toast for Scrooge too. But for your sake, dear, not for him, Elaine said and held up her mug too. So did Peter, Mary and Tim too.
Scrooge turned around to Haggis again and asked him.
Say, what did you mean that "much of Tim is wrong"?
He's very sick and that's why he has to carry that crutch. If these shadows doesn't disappear I see
Haggis paused and looked at Tim through the window.
See what?
An empty chair were little Tim once sat at, Haggis said.
But does that mean that
Scrooge begun to say but Haggis interrupted him.
I'm sorry but I can't tell the future. It's out of my line. I have to go now. I will have to get back to Glasgow for the caber-toss contest.
Wait, Haggis! How about Tim?
The next ghost will tell more. Just wait there! Bye!
A big cloud of fog came through and Haggis disappeared.
When the fog were gone Scrooge walked around to try to find Haggis.
Haggis! Please don't go!
Suddenly Scrooge stopped and turned around. Suddenly a lot smoke appear which covered everything around him. Then a dark, demonic voice laughed evil, the smoke disappeared and then a Ghost of a tall, sturdy, tough pirate-captain with a big thick beard, appeared in front of Scrooge which made him fall backwards of frightened. It's was LeChuck, the Ghost of the Christmas Future. He said.
Ye don't need Haggis because his work-line is the present. I'm representing the future, hehehe!
Are you the Ghost of the Christmas Future? Asked Scrooge with a nervous voice.
Aye, me be LeChuck, the Demon-zombie-ghost of the Christmas Future, answered LeChuck and changed into a zombie-pirate and then into a demon-pirate with glowing eyes and a flaming beard.
Good. Please, answer me. What's going to happen with little Tim?
Look through that window, LeChuck said and pointed at the window of the family Cratchit's house.
Scrooge walked closer to the window and saw the Cratchit family. Guybrush, Elaine, Mary and Peter sat near the open fire to warm up their selves and they were all sad.
It have been so quiet and sad since Tim passed away, Guybrush said sorrowed and some tears ran over his chins.
Yeah, it's not the same now without him. My little brother always cheer me up in depressing times, Peter Cratchit said and looked on the family-portrait were the whole family was together in joy.
Mary cried out loud in her mother's arms while she looked with tears in her eyes at her husband and said.
Even if we lost Tim it's going to be better. It will be better times for us but I wish that the grim reaper didn't take our little boy away.
The family had a big group-hug while they sniffed and cried more. Scrooge met the sorrow and begun to get tears in his eyes too.
Oh no! What have I done? LeChuck, I don't want this happen! Say that it will never happen!
But LeChuck didn't answer instead he changed into a zombie and pointed at some people. He said.
Look over there, Ozzie Scrooge!
Scrooge walked to LeChuck and looked at the people that were gathered. Scrooge listened to what they said.
So are you going to his funeral? Said a black-haired young man with a big fisher-hat and a pipe in his mouth.
Nah, if there isn't any good funeral-food then I won't come, said a muscle-bound guard in a golden helmet and black-beard. He continued.
How about you?
No way! Once when I sold a great bass he just paid me just two Pieces of Eight and then when I complained he send the sheriff at me. If they didn't allow me to spit on his grave I would never ever go there! Said the fisher-man.
Myself, I would go to his funeral but I won't go if no one gives me some company, said the Wood-smith who wore a green apron.
Did you see what they did with his house? Asked the guard.
Yes, they took all his stuff and sold them, the wood-smith said.
Did you know what become of the Scrooge-Marley Inc.? asked the fisherman.
Scrooge begun to feel fear and looked at LeChuck.
The Scrooge-Marley Inc.? W-w-who is t-t-the guy that is d-d-dead? He said very scared.
I was getting to that. Take my hand! Said LeChuck, turned into a demon and held his open hand to Scrooge.
Scrooge touched LeChuck's hand and they disappeared in a great flash. They came to a dark, cold, scary looking graveyard. There were tombstones everywhere and some creepy-looking dead trees around them. LeChuck walked and Scrooge followed him. LeChuck stopped after awhile and pointed at three morticians that worked through a grave. The first one was an old, short man with a red hood on his head. The second one was a tall, thin guy with a fine dark-green coat, a fine hat and an eye-patch. The third one was a short, bald, rather sturdy tough-looking man with long moustaches.
I have never seen a funeral like this, the old grave-digger said.
That was the second emptiest funeral that I ever known, the gentleman grave-digger said.
No friends, no relatives and no one to say good-bye, said the short tough grave-digger.
Well, I'm getting hungry. Shall we have a lunch-break? Asked the old guy.
I agree. That guy can't go anywhere, the tall guy said.
Oh, that's a good one! Commented the tough guy.
The grave-diggers went to lunch and Scrooge and LeChuck walked closer to the grave.
LeChuck? What kind of a lonely, s-s-scaring looking grave is it?
I will show you! LeChuck said and his fire-beard flared up so it had a bright shine. Scrooge looked at the tombstone and gasped. Because on the tombstone it said "RIP Ebenizer Ozzie Scrooge".
It's yours Ebenizer. The richest man in the whole grave-yard!!! DAAAAHH-HAHAHA!!!
NOOOOOOO!!! It can't be! Now I understand why everyone is happy! That's because I passed away!!
Aye! Mwu-hahaha!!!
Scrooge walked to LeChuck, fell on his knees and tried to beg for mercy.
No, please, please, please! Don't tell me that it's true! DON'T TELL ME THAT IT IS TRUE!!!
You're starting to bug me, Ebenizer Ozzie Scrooge! LeChuck said annoyed.
I'll getting better! Please! Don't say that this is true! Give me another chance! Please!
Enough of this, you girly-man!!!
LeChuck send flames at Scrooge so he jumped backwards and fell screaming into the grave.
Scrooge fell off the bed entangled in his blanket and he first thought that he was trapped in the grave.
Let me out of here! Please! Don't do this to me! Huh? What the?
Scrooge threw off the blanket and looked around. He said.
But
I'm back at my room. I wonder if it really is
Scrooge ran over to the window and opened it. He saw that it was a sunny Christmas-morning, people walking around to visit their friends and relatives. Scrooge looked down and saw a young fisherman with black hair.
Pardon me! Scrooge said.
Yes? The fisherman said.
What kind of day is it today?
25:th December of course!
Thank you, young man, Scrooge said and closed the window again. He said then.
It IS Christmas-morning. I wasn't done for. Jojo Jr., Haggis and LeChuck gave me another chance! There's got to be something that I need to do. I know!
Scrooge hurried to change his clothes and hurried outside while he happily said.
Hahaha! What a wonderful day! There's so much to do.
But he returned because he forgot his cane.
Whoops! Forgot the cane!
He ran outside and slipped on some ice but he didn't bother it at all. He just rose up again, brushed off the snow from his knees and just walked further, happy like man that have won 1000 $ at lotto. He met the fund-collectors that visited him yesterday. He greeted.
Well what do you know! Good to see you again, good morning gentlemen!
Well, good morning Mr. Scrooge, said the black-beared man.
I have got something for you, Scrooge said and put a little bag of money in the shortest man's hand.
He opened the bag and the men looked inside.
20 Hence Pieces of Eight? Oh my! The tallest man said surpriced.
It isn't enough? Well then, 50 Hence Pieces of Eight, said Scrooge and put another bag of coins in the shortest man other hand.
But Mr. Scrooge it's... the black-beared man started but Scrooge interruped him saying.
Still not enough? Ah, what kind of businessman am I? Here you go!
Scrooge put two other bags of coins on the shortest man's head.
200 Hence Pieces of Eight! I got to go now! Merry Christmas on you!
Scrooge begun to walk away laughing with joy. The men was both surprised and happy at the same time as the shouted to Scrooge.
Thank you so much, Mr. Scrooge! And have a Merry Christmas too!
As Scrooge walked through the streets he wished everyone he passed a Merry Christmas and everyone looked surprised at him because he didn't were that friendly before. When Scrooge came to Fred's house knocked at the door. Fred and Carla opened the door.
Oh, hi uncle Scrooge!
Hi there, Fred. How was the dinner yesterday? Scrooge asked his nephew and smiled.
It was great. It was too bad that you didn't came, Fred said.
Don't bother about that. Since it's Christmas-day how about a Christmas-dinner together with your friends?
Fred and Carla looked surprised at each other.
Why sure! So will you be coming?
Of course! It's been awhile I sat my teeth in some candid fruit with Victoria Spoonge! And you must be Carla that Fred talked about?
Yes. Pleased to meet you Mr. Scrooge, Carla greeted.
Just say Ebenizer or Ozzie if you like, Carla.
Oh yeah, right!
I have some things to do but I will be here exactly two O'Clock and keep the food steaming hot! Merry Christmas!
Scrooge took off his hat and then walked away. Fred answered.
We will fix the food steaming hot! Merry Christmas on you too!
Yeah, Merry Christmas, Ozzie!
Just a couple of minutes later on the square Scrooge walked to Stan who stood on his sales-stand where he on the days he sell the Christmas stuff.
Excuse me...
Howdy mister! Welcome to Stan's Previous Owned Christmas Decorating! What can I do for you? Stan asked.
I like to buy some Christmas stuff, Scrooge said.
Then you have come to the right place! I have everything that has to do with the Christmas. I have wreathes, mistletoes, presents, turkeys...
Excuse me but here's a shopping-list for I would like to have, said Scrooge and gave Stan a shopping-list.
Stan looked through the list and then said.
Okay. Let's see what I can do for you.
Stan took up some things and started wrapping in Christmas-presents and other things and put them inside a sack which he gave to Scrooge.
Okay. Here you go! That will be 2500 Pieces of Eight please!
Scrooge payed Stan off and carried the sack over his shoulder.
I got some things to do. See you around. Merry Christmas to you.
Well thank you and god-bye! Merry Christmas to you!
When Scrooge have walked away Stan put a "Will be back soon" sign and ran to closest shop while saying.
Great! Now I can buy the Christmas-presents to my kids!
Meanwhile Scrooge walked to the poorest part of town to the house where the Cratchit family lives. Scrooge sayed to himself.
I'm going to give Guybrush Cratchit a surprise he even can't thank enough.
Scrooge changed back to his grumpy look, to sursprice Guybrush Cratchit and his family, and then knocked on the door. The door opened and Guybrush looked outside.
Oh Mr. Scrooge. Merry Christmas! Would you like to come in?
Scrooge walked in and Elaine Cratchit hold the children behind her.
Merry Christmas, pah! I have some laundry that you should take care of!
He put the bag at the side and looked seriously at Guybrush.
But it's Christmas today! Guybrush said.
Bah humbug! And another thing, Cratchit! I really shouldn't have giving you the day off to you! Now I have no choise but to give you 2000 % highened salary!
Guybrush and the rest of the family looked surprised at Scrooge.
What did you say you were going to give me again, Mr. Scrooge?
I'm giving you 2000 % more in salary. Also I'm going to promote you into companion, Scrooge continued and smiled to Guybrush.
Companion? Really?
Really.
Thank you very much, Mr. Scrooge!
Don't thank me just yet. Look in my "so-called-laundry-bag".
Elaine with the children opened and looked inside the sack.
It's a Turkey! Elaine said surprised.
And Christmas-tree decorations, Peter said with joy.
And Christmas-presents! Shouted Mary and Tim with joy.
Oh and another thing! Wait here! Scrooge said, ran out and came in with a very fine Christmas-tree that he bought from the square after he went to Stan. Guybrush was so surprised he didn't knew what he would say.
I... I don't know what to say, Mr. Scrooge, he sayed.
Just thank me. Also, just call me Ebenizer or Ozzie! Merry Christmas to you and your lovely family! Scrooge said and put a hand on Guybrush's shoulder. Scrooge continued.
Well what are we waiting for? We have a Christmas-tree to decorate and some presents to open! I will help you!
Okay. What do you say family, shall we start decorating and have some fun?
Yay! The children shouted with joy.
Scrooge walked over to children and they hugged him for he was a such kind man and Guybrush and Elaine stood at each others side and looked happily at them.
God bless us all, Tim sayed happy.
You said it, Tim, Scrooge said and patted Tim's head.
And so Scrooge and the Cratchit family decorated the Christmas-tree, ate some of the Christmas-food and Peter Kenny, Mary and Tim opened their presents which they were happy to get. Much later Scrooge together with the Cratchit family went over to Fred Lemonhead's place for Christmas-dinner and had a lot of fun. Scrooge have learned a lesson that he never will ever forget or even break at all. Everyone who hated him loved him now, all the employees got much better salaries and better working situation and Scrooge himself loved the Christmas and being friendly. He didn't even bother if his cane broke because it was glued, he just bought a new cane. And now he could have a very happy Chirstmas.
Merry Christmas everybody!!!
The Character-list
Ozzie Mandrill as Ebenizer Scrooge (Ebenizer Ozzie Scrooge)
Guybrush Threepwood as Bob Cratchit (Guybrush Cratchit)
Lemonhead as Fred, Scrooge's Nephew
The Men of Low moral fiber as the Fund-collectors
Ignatius Cheese as himself.
Captain Blondebeard as himself (as a Street-Santa collecting money from people that pass)
The Voodoo-lady as Fortune-teller
Herman Toothrot ( AKA Horatio Torqameda Marley) as Jacob Marley (Jacob T Marley)
Murray as himself (Scrooge's ex-secretary)
Stan as himself (as a Previous Owned Christmas Decorating salesman)
Jojo Jr. as The Ghost of Christmas Past
Largo LaGrande as Teacher
Griswold Goodsoup as Old Man Fezziwig (Griswold Fezziwig)
Kate Capsize as Isabelle
Haggis McMutton as The Ghost of Christmas Present
Carla as Fred's wife.
Otis and Meathook as Fred's friends.
Elaine Marley as Mrs. Cratchit (Elaine Cratchit)
Wally as Little Tim
Kenny Foulmouth as Peter Cratchit (Peter Kenny Cratchit)
The Demon-zombie-ghost pirate LeChuck as The Ghost of Christmas Future
The fisherman, the Phatt Island guard and Woody the wood-smith as themselves.
Mort, Cutthroat Bill and Edward Van Helgan as Morticians