After defeating LeChuck three times already, Guybrush settles down on Dinky Island in a small cottage. He has been married to Elaine for a year already, and LeChuck makes his appearance; AGAIN. It all happened when...
*KNOCK* *KNOCK*
Guybrush and Elaine in their cottage in the countryside: "Yes? May we help you?"
LeChuck disguised as a door-to-door salesman: "Uhh, well, yes, I'm selling... um... I'm selling these fine leather jackets!"
Guybrush: "Uh-huh. I used that excuse WAY too many times."
LeChuck: "Dargh! How'd you find out I was LeChuck!?!"
Guybrush: "You are?"
LeChuck: "Whoops... blew my disgu--"*PUNCH* *KICK*
A few hours later...
LeChuck: "There. Knocked senseless. Now, Elaine, I will take you to Big Whoop and make you my dead-queen-type-person!"
(HA! I probably got you thinking that Guybrush did the punching and kicking, eh?)
Elaine with a handkerchief around her mouth: "BmFffhrr grrehdshhrrr!"
LeChuck: "Save your breath for when I force you (again...) to say 'I DO! Harr harr!"
Elaine: "Bmffskrserrggrrr!"*KICK* *KICK* *hop* *hop* *hop*
LeChuck: "Dar! That saucy-female got away!!! I knew I shouldn't have sat down too long; now it messed up my cardiovascular system and I'm way out of shape..."
So LeChuck goes off searching for Elaine in the woods of Dinky Island.
Later that day...
Guybrush: "Oooh, my head... HEY! Where's LeChuck? Elaine? Oh no, not again... this is starting to get really annoying... I hate finding and killing you all the time, LeChuck!"
Five hours later...
Wally: "Wow, this looks like an abandoned cottage; I can stay here for the night!"
Guybrush: "Hey! WALLY!"
Wally: "Mr. Wood? Is that you?"
Guybrush: "Yeah, it's me, and I'm about to die of boredom, so put me out of my misery or untie me or do something!!!"
Wally: "Okay, fine, give me a knife."
Guybrush: "Okey dokey! Here it is!"
Wally: "If you had this knife the whole time, why didn't you untie yourself?"
Guybrush: "Uhh... whoops... Oh well."
Wally unties Guybrush and they fall asleep in the house and wake up the next morning...
Guybrush: "DOH! I should not have slept! Elaine is probably dead already!!! Yipes!"
Guybrush looks around the house and notices Wally is gone.
Guybrush: "Aw, man. Now I have to find three people. Just my great luck."
Guybrush slumps and slaps himself and runs out of the house. He does not notice he is in his underwear.
After searching the woods for a couple of hours, he finally spots Elaine sitting down near a tree.
Guybrush: "ELAINE! ARE YOU OKAY?"
Elaine: "Guybrush, what're you doing in your underwear?"
Guybrush: "Uhh... did you know I got my name by accident?"
Elaine: "Um... Yeah. Some guy was drawing some picture on some paint program and saved the file and he saved the file as 'guy' and the extension to the file was .brush so you got your name like that. 'Guybrush'
Guybrush raises and eyebrow. "Uh-huh. I was trying to change the subject... You didn't have to answer that."
Elaine: "Oh, okay."
A few moments later...
LeChuck comes stumbling through the woods. "So, there you are, my little pet!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! What's he doing here?" LeChuck points at Guybrush.
Elaine: "AIIIEEE! HELP! IT'S HIM!"
LeChuck: "DIE GUYBR- what are you doing in your underwear?"
Guybrush: Does EVERYONE have to answer that question?"
LeChuck laughs and laughs and laughs etc.,
Guybrush smacks LeChuck in the face while he is offguard and stuffs a rock down his throat and throws a sharp stick through LeChuck's stomach. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!"
Guybrush quickly grabs Elaine and runs off.
Guybrush: "I think we lost him... did you smell his armpits? They smelt horrible."
Elaine: "Not to mention yours."
Guybrush drops Elaine and sniffs armpits... "Smells fine t--oooohhh..."
Elaine: "Can you please untie me and stop smelling your horrid armpits of death?"
Guybrush: "Oh, right!"
Guybrush unties Elaine and they start off towards the abandoned house.
When they arrive there, Wally isn't there.
Guybrush: "I wonder where Wally has gone..." Elaine: "Wally? What's he doing here?"
Guybrush: "Oh, well. I guess he can find his way back to where he was before."
So Guybrush and Elaine start off to the beach and to their ship, and to only notice that it has been burnt down and there are a bunch of undead skeletal guards guarding it and Lechuck is ordering them around to fix it up to put into LeChuck's "Undead Navy."
Guybrush: "Hmmm... looks like I need to do some caber tossing. It's quite a good thing that Haggis taught me it back in Puerto Pollo."
Later that day...
Guybrush: "There. Thirty rubber-tree-cabers. I just have to toss them over to the skeletal horde..." Guybrush tosses a few of the trees and it smashes a bunch of the guards to bits...
Guybrush: "Uh-oh!!! We're out of trees and there are a bunch of skeletons chasing us!" Elaine: "What do we do now?!?!?"
Guybrush: "RUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
After an hour of being chased by skeletons, Guybrush and Elaine appear in a carnival... one that looks exactly like... BIG WHOOP.
Guybrush gulps and swallows a bunch of saliva and spit out of fear.
Guybrush is in a caged-bar with a bunch of dynmamite around it. LeChuck is in front of him and Elaine is tied up next to LeChuck.
Guybrush: "Oh no... is this Big Whoop? I'm sick of this place. That snowcone guy has disgusting snow cones and you have a really rude wharf rat guy... oh yeah, and Dingy Dog is really stupid. Would you tell that to hi-"
LeChuck: "SILENCE!"
Guybrush: "Okay." *gulp*
LeChuck: I will walk away from here in a few moments and blwo you to bits with this little switch... and Elaine is going to be my undead queen; FINALLY..."
Guybrush: "Oh yeah, sure, whatever."
LeChuck: "DAR! Ye'd better be quiet now or I'll cut yer blasted tongue out, Threepwood!"
Guybrush: "Uh-huh."
LeChuck: "Any last words?"
Gubrush: "Yeah. Please don't kill me."
LeChuck: "Sorry! Bye bye!"
Wharf Rat: "Hey! LeChuck, I got some brats here, help me out!" LeChuck: "Fine... Guybrush, you better find time to get out of that cage before I blow you up!!!" LeChuck takes Elaine and walks away to the Wharf Rat's booth.
Guybrush just opens the door to the cage. It opens.
Guybrush: "Sheesh, LeChuck, you sure are stupid. This is the second time that you forgot to lock the gates to the cages I've been in."
Guybrush walks out of the cage and walks into the carnival.
Guybrush: "Hmmm... I wonder where he went. This place sure looks a little different... but still kind of the same. Oh no. I have to go onto the Rollercoaster of Death again... Hopefully somebody screwed up the track and I won't get melted into some skeleton thingy."
Guybrush gets onto the rollercoaster and the ride starts. Up, down, up, down, *puke*, loop, loop, loop, *puke*... "ooohhh..."*hurl* "Uh-oh! That looks like that lava p--" *SPLASH!* "I'm meeellltttiiinnggg!"
Elaine: "Guybrush? Guybrush? Wake up! You've been sleeping for over 5 days!"
Guybrush: "HUH? AAAAAAIIIEEEEE! I'M A SKELETON! NOOOOO!"
Elaine: "Looks like somebody's been having some nightmares..."
Guybrush: "WHAT? You mean I was just dreaming?" *phew*
Elaine: "Yeah... actually... NO."
Guybrush: "Huh? Whatdya mean?"
Elaine tugs at her head and all of a sudden her skins peels off and she's a flamin' skeleton... "BWAHAHAHA! I AM UNDEAD! AND SO ARE YOU! BWAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHAHAetc.,"
Guybrush: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Elaine: "Guybrush, wake up!"
Guybrush: "Oh, whew... it was just a nightmare in a nightmare."
Elaine: "Uh-huh... now tell me all abo-"
*KNOCK* *KNOCK*
THE END
Story written by Danny Atherton aka Rottingbeef - rottingbeef@hotmail.com